Its crazy...when you finally understand something you thought you understood. When you actually mean something you thought you meant. When you really want something you thought you wanted all along. When things just aren't working...when they don't add up...might I suggest that you weren't doing all the things you thought you were? I realize that I'm being more generic than ibuprofen on the shelf at walmart. But...he who has ears to hear, will hear. I can't tell you much, but, there was so much in my life that I thought I knew about myself. I thought I had the right attitude on things, I thought. Then, then I ran face first into God. You know, that guy who made the universe. I thought I knew God. In fact I would venture to say I did. I think I had some kind of estranged step-parent/only talk to you on my birthday kind of relationship. I thought I knew what I wanted in life. I thought I knew what GOD wanted for me in life. Then, in His infinante wisdom, He decided that it was time for me to make a shift. He showed me that all the things I thought I was keeping myself "safe" from were just my meathods of staying away of things I was afraid of. All the things I thought I was avoiding because item was the "good, Christian, moral" thing to do, he showed me I was afraid of those things too. Then he crushed me. Like, obliterated me. That monster under the bed that I'd been baracading myself up against for so so long, that I'd worked so hard to stuff deep under the bed so that it could never find me, he let it out. Like, I woke up one morning to the monster chilling on the foot of my bed watching me wipe the drool off me face. So I tried to put him back under the bed. Then I woke up the next day to find the monsted standing by my nightstand, elbows on the bed propping up its unbearable face. So I tried as hard as i could to get him back under the bed where he belonged. After all, I had always put him there. I knew where it belonged! It was a monster after all-you can't just let those things run around your house. They're are dangerous. So, God saw that i just wasn't getting it. The next day i woke up to him cozied under the blanket with me, wearing a pair of my pijamas! I realized at that point, that hiding the moster wasn't the answer. I sure as heck didn't know what it was though. Then I read in 1st John that the opposite of love isn't hate. Its fear. And I though, I have fear. Fear of a monster- but isn't that a completly rational fear? Then i thought, if I am full of fear...that means I don't have love? Then I realized that I don't love people, not unless they love me. And that just isn't God's way of doing things. Confront my fear, my moster. maybe, just maybe God will be bigger than it. And i won't be afraid of it anymore. And then I will have room in my life to love.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Life changers
Do I have a mission? I guess I do think that life is more than just waiting for the weekend, so I can play my piano or new guitar, or play my games or hang out with my friends.
Christ's church is made up of people. If all the people that make up the church looked like me, what would the church look like? Would God's kingdom on earth be advanced?
Hebrews 12:1-3
I need to get a mentor.
If I spent my whole time righting all the wrongs done to me I would have no time to complete the task that God has given to me. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. He will repay, vengeance belongs to God. People who make a difference, it will cost something. Living a life that matters to God will cost. Press on. Don't waste your life on silly things. All mankind comes from God. Change your own world. Your little world one step at a time.
Christ's church is made up of people. If all the people that make up the church looked like me, what would the church look like? Would God's kingdom on earth be advanced?
Hebrews 12:1-3
I need to get a mentor.
If I spent my whole time righting all the wrongs done to me I would have no time to complete the task that God has given to me. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. He will repay, vengeance belongs to God. People who make a difference, it will cost something. Living a life that matters to God will cost. Press on. Don't waste your life on silly things. All mankind comes from God. Change your own world. Your little world one step at a time.
Monday, January 16, 2012
I blog of Saturn.
Did you hear the news? The old must die for the new to grow.
Jesus Christ, Light of the World
You never did forget me
and when i bled in darkness, You held
me
still held me
when desperate nights i cursed You
You loved me, still loved me
Jesus Christ, You dry the tears
You break my heart of stone
Your words are life
cut marrow through
the darkness, to the bone
a heart of flesh You gave me
only You can save me
My heart of stone has to break so I can have a heart of flesh. Don't be fooled into thinking stone doesn't feel.
Sometimes the bravest thing...is to hope.
So, have you read/heard of the parable of the talents? It doesn't matter, you can HERE if you want,but there was this one guy with a talent (which is technically money back in the day, but for today's purposes it actually refers to talent, like, what you can do). This guy only had one talent unlike his counterpart servants who had 2 and 5 I think. Their boss goes on a business trip and he tells them to somehow turn a profit. The others invested there money, but the bright guy who only had one decided to bury it. Brilliant right? No chance he would be out of money when his boss returned. WRONG. His boss was more of a "no guts, no glory" kinda guy it as turns out. He came back, and the two servants with more money had doubled their amounts, the guy with one coin gives him...that same coin back. He didn't do anything with it. Except make it all dirty. Needless to say, that guy was fired.
Whats the point of all this? Ok, believe it or not I have some talent. Aaaand, I don't use it. That's why you probably don't know it. But I don't want The Boss to come back one day and tell me I'm fired because I didn't use the one talent He gave me. Sooo...sometime in the next few weeks you might see something popping up here. That involves me and talent. Yeah, that's pretty much it. See ya soon.
Jesus Christ, Light of the World
You never did forget me
and when i bled in darkness, You held
me
still held me
when desperate nights i cursed You
You loved me, still loved me
Jesus Christ, You dry the tears
You break my heart of stone
Your words are life
cut marrow through
the darkness, to the bone
a heart of flesh You gave me
only You can save me
My heart of stone has to break so I can have a heart of flesh. Don't be fooled into thinking stone doesn't feel.
Sometimes the bravest thing...is to hope.
So, have you read/heard of the parable of the talents? It doesn't matter, you can HERE if you want,but there was this one guy with a talent (which is technically money back in the day, but for today's purposes it actually refers to talent, like, what you can do). This guy only had one talent unlike his counterpart servants who had 2 and 5 I think. Their boss goes on a business trip and he tells them to somehow turn a profit. The others invested there money, but the bright guy who only had one decided to bury it. Brilliant right? No chance he would be out of money when his boss returned. WRONG. His boss was more of a "no guts, no glory" kinda guy it as turns out. He came back, and the two servants with more money had doubled their amounts, the guy with one coin gives him...that same coin back. He didn't do anything with it. Except make it all dirty. Needless to say, that guy was fired.
Whats the point of all this? Ok, believe it or not I have some talent. Aaaand, I don't use it. That's why you probably don't know it. But I don't want The Boss to come back one day and tell me I'm fired because I didn't use the one talent He gave me. Sooo...sometime in the next few weeks you might see something popping up here. That involves me and talent. Yeah, that's pretty much it. See ya soon.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Inspirational
Most sensational, celebrational...no, I'm not going to blog about the Muppets, I haven't even seen the new movie. But I'd like to. Any takers?
Well anyway, my life took a turn for the better, a week ago, all because someone inspired me. So maybe you need someone to inspire you to become what or who you aspire to be. For now we'll talk about exercise, since that is where my changeyness occurred. (I like made up words!). BUT before I tell you exercise is good for you, I'll just tell you that what I started doing a week ago has given me the strength to take baby steps in changing a few other things in my life that need changing too. I think when you see improvement in one area, it tells you maybe you can do it in other areas, you think: "Maybe I don't always have to fail at improving who I am." It's also given me more energy, I'm less prone to get upset/depressed, and it made my heart (the physical and the metaphorical one) feel better. And that is exactly what my inspirational person told me it would do. (They weren't a shrink by the way, just your average ordinary everyday person like me and you. But probably more like you cause I'm kinda weird.)
In fact, they weren't even trying to inspire me, so I thank God for sending that person along to do what they did when they did. And I continue begging him to help me keep doing this wonder working thing so I can keep going on the upward trend, because I HATE exercise. Did you already forget we were talking about that? Really though, I hate it. If you know me at all, you know I hate it. I would get all gungho for new routines, or trying different types, for varying amounts of time... and it never stuck for more than a couple days. But for some reason, someone who also loves carbs and hates moving just for the sake of moving, was able to wake up at 5am and better herself, which in turn betters those around her. Something about that made me want to try waking up early. Not 5am early, but about 6:30/6:45am early. And I did it, I've been doing it. I'm not saying that waking up before work is your thing, I'm just saying don't give up trying to find your "thing". Shoot, maybe you run 5 miles a day but there is something else in your life that you can't seem to conquer. Don't give up trying, find new ways. It might feel like you're going 2 steps back 1 step forward. But if you give up, you'll fall farther back a whole lot faster. Want another tip? Theres this "being", his name is God. His son's name is Jesus. And they help me out a whole, whole lot in life. Even when I'm not asking them to. So maybe, if you've tried everything else, ask them for help. What have you got to lose?
Well anyway, my life took a turn for the better, a week ago, all because someone inspired me. So maybe you need someone to inspire you to become what or who you aspire to be. For now we'll talk about exercise, since that is where my changeyness occurred. (I like made up words!). BUT before I tell you exercise is good for you, I'll just tell you that what I started doing a week ago has given me the strength to take baby steps in changing a few other things in my life that need changing too. I think when you see improvement in one area, it tells you maybe you can do it in other areas, you think: "Maybe I don't always have to fail at improving who I am." It's also given me more energy, I'm less prone to get upset/depressed, and it made my heart (the physical and the metaphorical one) feel better. And that is exactly what my inspirational person told me it would do. (They weren't a shrink by the way, just your average ordinary everyday person like me and you. But probably more like you cause I'm kinda weird.)
In fact, they weren't even trying to inspire me, so I thank God for sending that person along to do what they did when they did. And I continue begging him to help me keep doing this wonder working thing so I can keep going on the upward trend, because I HATE exercise. Did you already forget we were talking about that? Really though, I hate it. If you know me at all, you know I hate it. I would get all gungho for new routines, or trying different types, for varying amounts of time... and it never stuck for more than a couple days. But for some reason, someone who also loves carbs and hates moving just for the sake of moving, was able to wake up at 5am and better herself, which in turn betters those around her. Something about that made me want to try waking up early. Not 5am early, but about 6:30/6:45am early. And I did it, I've been doing it. I'm not saying that waking up before work is your thing, I'm just saying don't give up trying to find your "thing". Shoot, maybe you run 5 miles a day but there is something else in your life that you can't seem to conquer. Don't give up trying, find new ways. It might feel like you're going 2 steps back 1 step forward. But if you give up, you'll fall farther back a whole lot faster. Want another tip? Theres this "being", his name is God. His son's name is Jesus. And they help me out a whole, whole lot in life. Even when I'm not asking them to. So maybe, if you've tried everything else, ask them for help. What have you got to lose?
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